I dunno why, but I’ve not been in the mood to post lately. So in honor of my laziness, I’m introducing ‘Funny Friday’. Feel free to make a button for it and pretend you came up with it.
So here it is. I nearly peed myself when I read it. Enjoy. And have a swell weekend. Supposed to be back up to 70’s this weekend, so we’re heading outside for some pumpkin patch/apple orchard action. Yay for fall!!
I have no idea how working women do it. I am so annoyed at my new life. Though I love my new job (I get to knit there), I am entirely spent after the past week and a half. I filled in for a co-worker who was gone last week and this week and I’m half dead from just the stress of having to be there every day. My house is a wreck, my laundry is piled to the ceiling, and so are the dishes in the sink. Go do it now, you say? Shut up. I’m recovering from a tough week, then I have to go knit. 
I honestly have no clue why women would want to work full time when they only have to come home to more work and stress. Actually, after working for one month, I totally know why women work. Being at work is way more fun than staying home, especially if children are at home with you. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true. You get to wear nice clothes, you get to eat new food, usually unhealthy food your generous, thin, co-workers have made. You get to have adult conversations, you get to feel important, and you get paid. Even better, in my case, I get to feed my evil addiction at the same time. Yay! And to top it all off, DH is off my case about working. That is probably the biggest advantage. What he doesn’t know is that I’m spending my check faster than I’m making it. Oops. What ever happened to that spinning wheel I wanted? I think it magically turned into 12 place settings of Oneida Marquette silverware when I wasn’t looking, or at least half of a spinning wheel did anyway. eBay is so bad. Must. Avoid. eBay. Have I mentioned it hasn’t arrived yet and I ordered it two weeks ago? I’m so trying not to freak out that I might have been e-scammed. Sigh. It would serve me right. I’m so weak. It’s those damned days off. I sit here when I shouldn’t be because all the housework is just too overwhelming. Maybe I need to work more hours per week. But then I’d make more money and then I’d find new ways to spend it. Is anyone seeing a pattern here? I know why stay at home mothers are resentful, bored, and badly dressed. I also know why working women are bitchy, stressed and self righteous. So what am I? I think I’m all of the above, well, except for the badly dressed part.
This album is powered by BubbleShare - Add to my blog I have been dying to post these photos for days. Anyone out there thinking of knitting this pattern: JUST DO IT! I am the new poster child for the ‘I didn’t think I could ever knit this’ line of thought. I nearly threw it across the room after casting it on twice and doing about 20 rows each time. I was about to send out an SOS to all my knitty friends. I tried it the third time and Voila! It magically began to come together. It reminded me a bit of high school. I was pretty clueless at the start of every school year and our building was very large. I’d carry my schedule around and double check where I was going until well into the third or fourth week of classes. My friends thought I was a complete dork because they’d all memorized their schedules. This pattern made me realize that I don’t commit things to memory very quickly. It was near the end of chart one before I felt like I was getting it without looking at the pattern every other stitch. That’s when it became fun. Just to plug the yarn a bit: I’m using elann.com baby silk in Moroccan Olive (alpaca/silk). It’s the softest yarn I’ve ever worked with and I’m already thinking about the yummy scarves I could make with it. I’ve read that alpaca is warmer than wool, but I don’t see how that’s possible. I absolutely love the color, though I’m still not sure what I’ll wear it with. Yes, I am going to wear it. I may have to go buy something to wear it with.
Although I’ve never been a fan of having more than one knitting project going at once, I’ve had to since I’ve started this one. I can only knit on Icarus when there’s time to finish at least one or two rows. I can’t stand leaving it in the middle of a row if I get interrupted and because of the complicated chart I have to make sure I mark my spot on my row counter every row because I’m so freaked out about messing it up this far into it. I’m not good at fixing mistakes in lace so I have to frog one row at a time. Very painful. Also, this pattern is one I have to think about, but sometimes I need a mindless project for the times when I only have a bit of time. So I’m working on some socks for a gift. And no Jean, I’m not posting photos of them! It’s a surprise!! Curiosity killed the cat, you know. But I’ll tell you all that they’re my first socks with Opal yarn and I’m loving it. Opal is exceptional sock yarn. (It should be for the price.) Only the best for you, Jean. Get it? Eugene? Okay, old joke. I still snort at it though.
In other news: today was a very bad day at work for knitting, I actually had to work. It does make the day go faster, but I’m itchin’ to make some headway on this Icarus shawl. I am filling in for someone tomorrow and her students think it’s a free pass to not show up, so I’m sure I’ll be knitting all day tomorrow. Yee Haw!!
We got cable TV on Friday. It’s been 7 years since we have had it. I’ve enjoyed the time without it, DH could take it no longer. I am horrified at how much worse it has gotten since we had it last. What the hell is with the ad for Girls Gone Wild video? The first thing I did when the cable guy left (who wasn’t a guy!) was put a lock on all the nasty channels. The really sad thing is that the commercials on the decent channels are almost as bad as the bad channels. Sigh. Being a parent is too much responsibility on most days.
This album is powered by BubbleShare - Add to my blog Is there anyone out there who remembers me? I feel like I’ve been gone for years. Today I did laundry for the first time since DH took out the washer/dryer nearly one week ago. The downstairs commode is finally back in order after being removed for the floor (bathroom off kitchen). My kitchen table is still in two pieces. I have yet to cook a real meal in the kitchen. And yes, I’m thoroughly sick of eating out. DH promises electricity to the island tomorrow. I still have the oven and microwave so we’re not suffering too badly. On the flip side, I absolutely love my new floor. My only regret is that we waited four years to do it. So glad I went with my gut instinct on the floor sample. DH and kidlets like it also. My mother said, “It’s kind of dark, don’t you think?” That means it’s good.
Some highlights of our project:
*I got much knitting done since I’m not in the kitchen fixing normal meals. Yay! (Wait till you see Icarus, you won’t believe how it’s coming!)
*The stubborn island held firm in spite of DH’s ranting and beating on it. For a minute we were sure the house had been built around it, but finally, it caved in. In the end I was glad we decided to remove it.
*Kidlets decided to get sick mid-project on Tuesday and I missed two days of work. Took all three to Dr. on Wed. because I was sure it was strep. It wasn’t. It was the virus from hell. Stomachache, headache, fever, evil sore throat. One kid was still fighting it on Friday. UGH. So glad we’re all better.
*DH nearly electrocuted himself on Sunday trying to disconnect island. He touched some venting in basement under island and it was hot. I heard yelling and went to the basement. There was a crispy-hot hair dryer smell in the air and he said his skin smelled toasty. At this point I wailed, “NOW can we hire it done?” He replied by cutting most of the electricity in the house, including the ‘puter. I’m just now getting back to you all. Since I missed work due to kidlets’ illness, I had no access.
*Bruno the dog is completely confused by the new floor. His little world is a wreck. He roams looking for a comfy spot and finding none, he tries to sneak to the off-limits carpeted living room. I finally gave him a rug out of pity. I think he’ll like the floor in the summer when he’s hot.
*The kids love playing with hot wheels on the new floor. And they took left over bits of flooring and made ramps. Aren’t they clever?
Trim still needs to be added around all walls. Idiot previous owners had a toe kick of carpet (and old vinyl under that) going up the wall. UG-LY. We plan to paint the island and replace hardware on cabinets. It’s totally 60’s chrome now. (They even had these weird chrome corners under the carpet on the old vinyl layer. They kind of looked like shoe horns, pretty cool and a big surprise.
For now I’m sick of the mess and ready for some normalcy. And I’m just diggin’ my new floor. Yay!!!
Well, whadda ya think??
When I first began this blog back in June DH and I were knee-deep in choosing a new floor for our kitchen. That was the second go around with dragging samples home from the flooring store. We spent last fall doing exactly the same thing and couldn’t decide so we gave up. Have you been to look at the selection of flooring lately? It’s mindboggling. But man, we are so doin’ it this time. And this is what we’ve decided: 
I think it’s stainmaster vinyl. It could be black Hefty bags and it’d be better than what we’ve been living with for four years. Imagine three kids, one big dog, and a soap business happening in a kitchen with carpet. It actually looked fairly decent when we moved in. But of course it couldn’t last. On day two living in the house I dumped a whole pan of blueberry muffins on the floor right in front of the oven. Since then there’s been about four gallons of milk spilled on it (one cup at a time), raw eggs, chocolate syrup, marinara sauce, dog fluids… I could go on all day. I actually spent an entire Saturday afternoon shampooing the carpet about two or three years ago. What an waste of time. I hesitate to admit this publicly, I gave up spot cleaning it a year ago and have only vacuumed it since then. If I could advise someone thinking about putting carpet in a kitchen I’d say one thing: it smells. No matter how well you clean, carpet absorbs odors and you definitely do not want that in your kitchen. I am looking forward to having a cleaner floor. Which leads me to my next point.
Monday is the big installation day and DH began ripping out the carpet yesterday. This wouldn’t be so troublesome except for the fact that he’s also ripping out the island so they can lay flooring under it. It has a range top on it so that means I only have microwave and oven for cooking till the end of the week. Ugh. That in itself stresses me. But today I had to empty out the island and now the contents are all over my dining room. Who knew it held so much? Did I mention the new flooring will also be installed in the back entryway and the laundry? So I’m sure I’ll be having a good time clearing everything out of there tomorrow. And at the same time I’m supposed to be getting caught up on laundry since we’ll have no laundry for several days. And DH thinks it’s a good idea for me to whip up a couple casseroles so we can eat during this upheaval. Shoot me now. I haven’t been caught up with laundry for ten years. The other day my almost 11 year old says, “Mom, why is there always laundry on the floor in the laundry room? Is it new dirty laundry or is it just the same stuff that’s always there?” Mother guilt. Shouldn’t I be setting a better example that this? On my behalf I must say my laundry room is the size of most closets. There’s only room for two laundry baskets on the floor, that’s it. So the rest goes next to the basket when I sort. It’s not a great system, but hopefully soon it will be better. While the machines are out of the room for flooring we’ll move the water and gas hookups to the far end of the room where they should be, then there will be more room for hampers and such. We’ll see if all that really happens. I’m not holding my breath since DH never got around to scheduling a plumber. I do hope he’s not decided to do that himself. I may never have a working laundry again.
The best part of the whole deal? The flooring guys are scheduled to come Monday a.m. and I said I’d be home. Then I was able to pick some extra days next week at work and forgot about the flooring. Oops. So I get out of the entire deal. DH wasn’t thrilled, but he secretly wants to be here. It drives him nuts when workers are here and he can’t be here knowing what’s going on. So the next time I post I’ll have before and after photos. Whee. I know you’re all so excited. That’s okay, I’m excited enough for all nine of you. Nine! I picked up a new subscriber to bloglines last week. Will wonders never cease?
And finally, the SAFETY ALERT OF THE DAY: Do not dip your spinach in chlorine before eating it. I think people are actually doing this. Our society is loaded with dumbasses.
I found out about this great sock knitting group the other day. I am excited to pitch in to help out our soldiers overseas. If anyone here is interested in doing a good deed (knitting, writing a check, or sending toiletries) check out the site and sign up. It really is a nice thing to do to keep the soldiers in our thoughts.
The yarn requirements are that it be wool or superwash wool, black for the on-duty socks and basically anything for the casual socks. But check their official requirements to be sure. I only have bright colors in wool and no surplus superwash sock yarn so I inquired to them if yarn could be provided to me for the project and they’re mailing me some. With no LYS I’d have had to internet order it and wasn’t up to the expense. Is that a crummy thing to do? I figure two weeks of my knitting time and shipping charges to mail the package to them when done is a nice donation. But I suppose if everyone did this then they couldn’t afford to do the project with the shipping expenses, etc.
Do check out their site, they are doing a wonderful thing.
Here in Iowa we live on the fowl migration route known as the Mississippi Flyway. The birds fly over the twisty Mississippi River to lead them north in spring, and the south in the fall. I used to think this was pretty cool. We see Canadian geese flying overhead many times during those seasons, it’s quite commonplace. In addition to migrating geese, our area has many geese which opt not to migrate. Maybe it’s just too much bother, or maybe the accomodations here are too nice. The nearby park’s man-made lake is home to many geese and they have a following of folks who feed them and witness the nightly take-off from the lake. The geese also frequent the field behind our house in the fall. After the sweetcorn is cut down the geese come in to do clean-up duty. The kidlets have always loved to go see them and honk at them. And nothing is cooler than waking on a cool morning to the unusual sound of the honking of about fifty geese.
Like I said, I used to think this was cool. That was before the Bird Flu made the news. DH and I discussed that it probably isn’t wise to let the kidlets run in the field in the fall where the geese roam and poo. This field is the same one in which neighborhood dogs run, that mice escape from only to die in our traps in our basement, the same field that grows the sweet corn we eat every summer. I’m proud of myself that I haven’t wigged out about this and duct-taped our house. That conversation with DH faded from my mind when the geese returned a few weeks ago. The kidlets dashed out visit them in the field. Inside I was screaming, but I told myself the geese are still safe. After all, the virus has not mutated yet to the point where casual contact can kill humans instantly, so I told myself to relax. And looking at them from a distance is quite different than drinking their blood, which is how some people have contracted bird flu. But the virus is still mutating, how far it will go no one knows. Last winter I asked our level-headed pediatrician about it. He said it would only take 4-5 mutations for it to kill zillions of humans and he thought it was a completely plausible scenario. And my luck the way it is, I’d be the first one to die by looking at a goose from forty feet away.
Flash forward to today. I’m unloading groceries from the van and I notice a few geese flying over our barn. I’m standing there watching them and the thought enters my head: I hope they don’t poo as they fly over me. Birds are a bit unpredictable that way, you know. The thought leaves my head at the same moment that I notice something trailing down from the geese and falling to toward the ground. For a second I debate jumping back into the van, but decide there isn’t time. It’s falling fast. I just stand there, eyes glued to the poo which is falling faster and faster toward my van and me. ‘Swish’ I hear it land in the grass in front of me, about eight feet away. Contagion! In my backyard! Should I hose it? Douse it with gasoline? Or should I just take my groceries inside and blow my nose? I’m still fighting the cold of the century. In the end I went inside and blew my nose. I can only deal with one virus at a time.
If I would have doused it with gasoline I would have had to douse the entire neighborhood. These are birds and they poo whenever and wherever. I can do nothing, short of shooting every goose, to prevent contamination to me or my family. All I can say is this: if this virus mutates to the point of contraction through casual fowl-human contact our planet is in so much trouble.
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As Promised, I’m showing you the up-close and personal view of this old pattern book. Details here. I’ve almost got the second slipper done, which has been a major accomplishment due to my horrible runny nose from a cold I got over the weekend. Snotty tissues and hot tea and dangles of loose ends practically begging to get soaked. I should get at least a bronze medal for this bottomless slipper. But I guess I missed the knitting olympics. But speaking of bottoms, I ordered the slipper soles yesterday and they’re en route as I’m typing this. I love internet shopping. And of course I ordered yarn while I was at it . . .
And before you think, “That slipper is plain blue and boring” I must say I agree but my son wants them that way. I couldn’t even persuade him to let me do a bit of a stripe on the cuff. And yep, I think the cuff is too small too. But he’s bony so I’m sure it’s fine. It’s a bit of a story why the cuff is too small, let’s just say operator error 40% and crummy aluminum needles 60%. The only size needles I don’t have in good needles are #3 and that’s what I needed, so I busted out the trusy Boye’s. No wonder more people don’t knit. That’s what they think knitting is.
In case you’re bored by this slipper business… check out the last photo of the stitch markers. I did a swap with Drop Stitch Knitter last week. Don’t tell her, but I so got the better end of the deal!! I got to use them on this project and man are they cool. My knitting felt very pretty. They don’t catch on the yarn, they slip well and they’re fun to use. Guess what all my knitty friends are getting for Christmas??? She has them for sale here, along with shawl pins. Her business name is Scotts Mountain Crafts.
I need to correct the earlier post about this book. I said there were no photos in it. I was wrong. There are two pages of color photos, but they’re of 1950 quality and they looked like color illustrations at first look. My point remains: we are the luckiest knitters who ever lived. We have tons of patterns and info at our fingertips via the internet and bookstores. My knitty grandmother would have been amazed.
orphans
This photo is just too small to appreciate how cool this old pattern booklet is. (Yes, sometimes I do hate WordPress for their crappy photo capability.)It’s called Bear Brand Hand Knit Socks for Men, Women, Children, copyright 1950. It’s loaded with goofy illustrations of happy, skinny people with pointy collars lounging in hand knit argyle and monogrammed socks. Oy, to be a knitter in 1950! We have it so good we don’t even know it. Ladies, they didn’t even have photos in the knitting books, just lousy illustrations, can you imagine? (watch future posts for more photos.) This pattern book cost a whopping forty cents back in the day! I swiped it from my mom’s old knitting bag recently and am making my ten-year old son a pair of slippers for his birthday next month on Halloween, actually they’re ”Knitted Lounging Socks No. 2246″ as they’re named in the booklet. The “Bear Brand Wonderized” yarn was acrylic and back then it was new and great, “anti-shrink, permanent fit”. Another fine example of how our society tries to improve things and fouls it all up. What’s wrong with wool?? If I lived in a warmer climate I’m sure I wouldn’t enjoy wool as much as I do. But here in Iowa the winters can be brutal. I think last winter we had about a week straight of below zero temps. Granted, we only got about 5 inches of snow all winter, but hey, my toes still got cold. I’m assuming Bear Brand hasn’t been around for a while. I’ve not heard of it. My mom was tickled that I wanted to knit something from it. She says her last project from the booklet ended up flying across the room out of frustration and was never completed.
I think I’ll get the slippers done in a week or so. They’re coming right along. I watched “Free Willy” tonight with the kidlets and by the time Willy was snuggling with his mama out in the sea I’d gotten past the gusset and halfway done with the foot. I think I was more into the movie than I thought, it’s a two hour movie and I only got a couple inches done!
The pattern says to knit 53 rows from cuff before starting toe. I much prefer using inches as a guide. Is that how patterns used to be? The pattern had two sizes: women’s, and men’s. So I’m using the women’s size since the last shoes I bought my son fit perfectly on me. What a shocker that was. After all summer of him stealing my flip flops I strutted around the kitchen in his shoes feeling pretty smug. But there’s a large range of women’s sizes. How do I know what size I’m knitting? I could get done and it could be an 8 when I need a 10. I guess I could frog at that point and make them larger, but what a waste of time.
The other challenge of knitting this project: sweet son wants them to be a surprise so I’m not to knit on them where he can see them. HUH? Imposaroo. I’m doing my best but I find myself yelling, “Don’t look!” when he comes strolling up to me. I think I’ll have to leave them at work this week so that he won’t see them progressing. I think they ought to be a surprise.
I found some suede slipper soles online today at www.patternworks.com . I also found some at www.fibertrends.com, but theirs were not padded. They cost about $16.00 for the size 9.5 women’s. Jeepers, I could have ordered some nice ones from LL Bean for that. Oh well. He asked me to make them for him and I must not disappoint. The things we do for love. Like walking in the rain and the snow when there’s no where to go… feeling like a part of you is dying, looking for the answer in her eyes…. you think you’re going to make up – she says she wants to break up.
Now if only I could remember all my passwords and PIN numbers when I needed them….
